3:30-something I wake up all sweaty and can’t sleep. Back in the days waking up at this hour meant ”I just had to create”! Nowadays it means I feel a stress and can’t relax. My body wants me to do something. My mind don’t.
I switch places and go and try to sleep on the couch. No success. And a fly keeps messing with me.
The sun’s about to get up and sends it rays through the windows. I get a sudden urge to get out. I put on my walking shoes, ear plugs and sunglasses and head on out. No goals. No thoughts. Just an urge to calm my body. After a while I find myself heading down to the sea. I see that that is my goal. What my body wants.
I have a connection to the ocean I can’t explain. Don’t think I need an answer. It’s like a calming friend that doesn’t say much. Just agrees with me with quiet sounds.
I sometimes feel like Jacques in Le Grand Bleu. A lonesome soul that needs to explore the great unknown. I can relate to his searching … wonder how it would feel to swim away in to the great oblivion?
By the ocean I meditate, listen to the sounds from nature and look at the calm ocean that silently comforts me. I feel better now.
I walk back and fall a sleep again. Like a baby.